suburban idealism, erotic realism
june 25, 2025
trapped in suburban burnaby right now visiting family. the silence
here is suffocating, the comfort smothering. every
lawn perfect. every driveway hosting the same three
car models.
the last ten years have changed me so much. i look at this
lifestyle and i just keep thinking, damn, i wish i could feel something,
anything.
i don't know how people do it. i don't think it's inherently wrong, but there's
no way i could live like this.
i'm listening to headache right now, the vegyn project with the ai voice. it's
truly incredible. in my mind i see this guy with a perfectly pressed button-up shirt,
a simple web page from 2001, a cartoon image, a spreadsheet, a woman with her hair up that
makes him want to jump off the golden gate bridge and start all over again.
and to me, i think,
that's suburban idealism, being shattered by the reality of erotic realism. and i don't think
erotic realism is this sexual thing -- i mean it as more of a metaphor for raw, unfiltered, fresh
experience that breaks you out of the plastic mold we're all stuck in.
tags: philosophy, travel, transformation, alienation
producer rpg
june 25, 2025
made a producer rpg in rpgmaker mv for aaron paris. honestly such a
fun experience. feels oddly autobiographical - you're this broke
producer making shitty beats in your bedroom, trying to sell them
and get clout. i think a lot of people can relate to that grind.
it was a blast collaborating with aaron on this. chris kept chiming in
with the most hilarious ideas that we had to include. there's something
perfect about using rpgmaker to tell the story of creative struggle.
tags: games, music, rpgmaker
webrtc is actually pretty cool
march 8, 2025
working on ratdrop has been a deep dive into webrtc. peer-to-peer
connections in the browser are wild - no servers needed for the actual
data transfer. the ice candidates dance was a mindfuck.
honestly, i don't understand it.
biggest challenge was nat traversal. turns out some routers are not
particularly cooperative when it comes to direct connections.
stun/turn servers, blah blah. the whole thing was a lot to learn, but it works.
tags: webrtc, p2p, javascript, networking
antirave postmortem
february 28, 2025
made this whole album in a week while catsitting for my friend.
hadn't opened a daw in months, maybe longer. something about being
in someone else's space, with this cat just staring at me while i
messed around on a laptop.... it felt good to make noise again.
best part was oren sending me this ridiculous u2 sample halfway through.
fuck bono, but the sample chopped up nice.
tags: music, dance
why monospace matters
february 20, 2025
there's something deeply satisfying about monospaced fonts. every
character takes up the same amount of space.
it's honest typography.
monospace creates rhythm. your eye knows exactly where the next
character will land. plus it makes ascii art actually work.
tags: design, typography, minimalism